Saturday afternoon, early Autumn

it's fall break, and i'm down South in the palmetto state, a little exhausted from an entire day with my family but motivated to update my blog. the last few days back at HPU were oddly cold and shifty...here, even though it's the humid beach, you can feel the winter air moving slowly southward, turning a relatively mild summer into an unseasonably chilly fall. i can't wait to get back to campus and see all the fall foliage that we've been lacking all season.

even though today was my first full day spent with my loved ones in two months, i felt unusually distant. my mind kept wandering to thoughts of the past week, year, days ahead, responsibilities...and then it'd return to thinking about nothing - or better yet what wondrous thoughts must filter through the tiny brain of an average squirrel (e.g. "i'm a squirrel, i'm a squirrel..." ad nauseam).

the first thing i'd like to address is God. and how flipping amazing He is...and that's putting it so mildly but it's late and my brain can't possibly come up with anything more creative or magnanimous for the time being. but seriously, He is. God has been shaping my heart for the past 4 months and I'm a new woman every morning I wake up, it seems...it can be overwhelming trying to juggle all the things He wants to teach me along with my duties for school and all my organizations and friends and discipleship sometimes. Okay, i lied. it IS overwhelming. almost every day i struggle with being overwhelmed, but it isn't always bad. i feel uplifted by all He's done in my life, and through the good and less savory times He has taught me how to be more like Christ, how to be humbled and how to depend on Him moment by moment. it's a glorious learning experience. i just wish i could step away from my daily obligations and delight in all He's done in my heart just a little bit more.

so here's some thoughts. some will be lessons i've learned, others lessons i've yet to learn. some will be wrought with opinion, others less so. there might be a trace or two of wisdom that i've gained from others, but by no means expect to learn anything here. goodness that would require me to actually know something about...well...anything. ;)

one - this has been a truly unexpected year.
two - i am less responsible for the good things that have happened in my life than i realize.
three - i am more responsible for the bad things that have happened in my life than i realize.
four - sometimes i miss how carefree college was my freshmen year - even though i spent nearly all of my time studying. and i still do...where did the carefree go?
five - "always love, hate will get you every time." (Nada Surf, "Always Love")
six - i have never met one person who was happier because they held onto bitterness and unforgiveness. i have met many people, however, who are happier because they let bitterness go and forgave.
seven - i will never be able to repay the grace i have been given.
eight - joy can only come from contentment. contentment can only come from peace. and peace can only come from attempting to live with good regard toward those in your life. (Corinthians)

and seeing as it's 2 am already, i don't think i can write anymore and my bright moment of motivation to blog has passed...who knows, it might come back. hopefully before another month passes.

In Christ,
Alicia