All the time we spent in bed... fall in love and fall apart.

Thank God for Sufjan Stevens. And these lyrics. The first one really makes me appreciative of the amazing time I do get to sleep in bed, which is grounding, especially this week which is beyond stressful and into the realm of redonkulous. It's hard to praise God and thank him for his blessings when crazy weeks like this come around. And the second lyric is just a reflective one. I've had romantic feelings for more than one person this past semester, and I'm growing emotionally with everyone around me, and it's hard. Just being a college student and competing with the bombshells out there with more (physically) to offer, not really knowing if whatever relationship in front of me is one that God wants me to have.

A huge and gigantic thank you to the amazing Morgan (see profile picture at right) for introducing me to Sufjan in high school! Thank you, thank you and thank you.

I just have so much to do and I really don't know where to start. Maybe by banging my head against the keyboard.

We talked about the importance of prayer at Sunday's leadership meeting. I found out that I am always falling prey to impatience and (in the lightest sense of the word) hate. A few verses jumped out at me that night.

If we know of what we ask of Him, and we know that He hears us, we know that we
have what we have asked of Him.
John 5:14-15

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God - this is your spritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2

Oh, the Word of God is amazing.

Photo-blog.

Heeyyy, this is really a continuation of my "FRIENDS!" post on Saturday, with some of my favorite photos from this past week. Also, can I just say I love Wednesdays? Something about hump-day is just amazing. Well, maybe part of it is because I have absolutely no meetings on this day (well I do until discipling starts at 4 next week) plus McKenzie has an evening class from 6 to 9, which translates into me getting the room to myself for three whole hours...fist pump!

This was right after some 2nd floor Wesley girls went to the High Point train station to pick up Kerry Q, kind of our mother on the hall. She was in the hospital the week after Spring Break because she has Chrone's.

Me and Denise at CRU formal, possibly the best time I've had in a while. I don't see her enough since she graduated last year.


Okay. This is Rachel and I, one of the lovliest and Alicia-like persons (besides me) I've ever met. We could be twins, the way she raves about old hollywood and Fred Astaire!

This is my buddy from Greensboro, Ashton. Hopefully I'll be doing Summer Project with her in Daytona this year!

Aaand this is the new CRU leadership team! I love these guys. Seriously, look how amazing we are! (we never did have a single picture with all of our attention.)

That's all for now. A big "Whoo!" for awesome and Godly friends, and an amazing but busy week ahead. APO's camping trip is this weekend. Worrd.

Currently listening to: "Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens

FRIENDS!

Are flipping amazing. Some people I really thought were my friends, I guess aren't thanks to recent times and I'm incredibly bummed about it but what else can I do besides become stronger from it and move on? So I am. Right now.

In other incredibly exciting news, CRU formal was last night! And I had a complete blast. It was such an amazing success, which means it'll just be better last year. My feet hurt from dancing so much, but that's the price of letting go of inhibitions and dancing to your heart's content.

God is so flipping awesome, I can't hold it in.

I would really like a relationship right now, but it's not happening. Is he asking me for patience? or is our relationship right now not solid enough for me to persue an earthly one? I'm so confused right now.

Mini-blog, fa sho. (part deux)

Today is a magnificent day. The CRU leaders prayed outside of Starbucks and then we had breakfast in the caf. I am SO happy to be back at HPU.

Mini blog, fa sho.

Is it possible to fall in love with a song?

If it is, I totally and completely have. With Rufus Wainwright's "Agnus Dei", which means "Lamb of God" in Latin.

The melodies, the violins, the frustrating cello in the beginning that evolves into a swarming envelope of warm sounds and tones - I am absolutely liking this man and this song. His voice is one of the most devine things I've ever heard, and when he wails "Pecatta Mundi..." I just get shivers. It's fa sho one of those songs that you have to either lay down or close your eyes to get the whole experience. And the experience is devine.

Agnus dei
Agnus dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Agnus dei
Agnus dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Dona nobis pacem
Dona nobis pacem
pacem
Dona nobis pacem

Lamb of God
You who take away the sins of the world
Lamb of God
You who take away the sins of the world
Give Us Peace
Give Us Peace
Peace
Give Us Peace.

Hair cut! And a few things I love

Finally! My hair is gone (well, almost) and it feels great.


Some other things: I absolutely adore this power-couple.


I love to just see others enjoying life. Just seeing my dog resting happily on my mom's lap today made me content. I also love Stranger Than Fiction, I just saw it for the second time tonight and it's better this time around.

God is completely my Lord and he is my savior, but sometimes I forget that. I wish that I could accept his terms and delve happily into his Scripture, even when I'm in a place I don't love or unmotivated to do things simply because I'm unhappy with the people around me. Oooh but when things are good or I'm in a good place, my praises come pouring out and all I can think about is him. What a relationship.

watching: Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Spring Break! (and some other things...)

Spring Break's here (insert excited face). I have to say I wasn't prepared for it. I could've stayed in High Point for at least a couple more weeks. Isn't that weird? Last year I couldn't get home fast enough and now, I'm homesick for High Point. It's a different experience when you don't want to be home. Don't get me wrong... I love seeing my supportive family, but when I come home (and not really wanting to at that) I really just want the ultimate atmosphere to just relax and hang out with my fam, maybe hit the salon for a hair cut (I still don't know what I'm doing with it). But since I've been home, well my dad is never home since he's working the outage at the power plant and my mom is having pre-menstruation problems, you know, depression, thinking she has no friends, complaining, just being overall grumpy all the time. Which is really unfortunate because her life is amazing, I just wish God would open her eyes to help her see that more. And... I know God calls me to be grateful for the things I have - but I can't help but feel a little depressed whenever I come home. I just have bad memories stored in this house. I hated moving around, I always felt like I didn't fit in in middle and some of high school, I didn't have the most supportive family at the time and I was still in the middle of my dance training, aka anorexia-ville. I went through alchohol and smoking and making bad choices with my friends on this street. I stole my sister's clothing when she was gone. All these things... they all happened while I was living here. I feel like one of God's criterion for my colleges was that it was reasonably far from my home. I know now that Canada and Oxford (the places I was thinking of at the time) were a little extreme and He never wanted me that far away, but during my senior year I was blindsided by my more unsavory moments in Lusby and getting eons of space between me and my family was all I could think about. It stinks that God lets those feelings surface, that I allow them to come around and knock me off my feet when I least expect it. Sometimes, when I do something seemingly miniscule, like walking into the dark laundry room or just getting into my childhood bed at night, I get the worst, almost revolting feelings towards this house and my past. It sucks. A lot. Regardless... you know, God calls us to make the best of these situations, to learn and be stronger because of them, and I guess I'll have to. :o)

In other news!

CRU's first formal is coming up a week or two after we get back from break and Britt and I are heading it up, amazing! We really haven't had time to organize much, it being the hectic weeks before break with midterms and projects and all that but I can't wait to get back and start working on it. Being a CRU leader is amazing. Sometimes daunting, like when we have prayer and I feel like I'm being called to speak aloud, but it's such a weakness of mine that I always bite my tongue. Or being vocal about ideas. Hopefully these things are just jitters and they'll abate themselves before long, after we've grown closer as a group. Hopefully! I'm so, so hopeful about this.

Aaaand that's it. When I cut my hair I'll update.

Listening to: my last.fm personal radio station